Up and down and up and down and... all around?

Life.  Yeah, I know.  It is intense.  Sometimes it is good, other times it is a little rough.  Sometimes it is just right in the middle.  But so what?

Well, joke's on you.  I am not talking about life today.  I am talking about marriage... again.  But this time, the prevention of divorce.  So, say you have yourself this marriage.  You kind of like it.  But what about the day you realize your bank account is empty and there are bills to pay?  Things get a little stressful.  You are down.  But just last month, you had the best month in a long time?  What is this up and down roller coaster?

Every marriage is going to have these ups and downs, the high and the low times.  The thought of divorce might pop into your mind, but let me tell you: DON'T DO IT!!!  (Well, unless your life is at risk of course).  Let's face it, divorce doesn't come on suddenly.  There are predictors of divorce which are foreseen sometimes years in advance.  What are these predictors you might ask?  I shall tell you:

1- You come from a family of divorced parents, you perceive divorce as a solution
2- Emotional instability
3- Lack of effective model
4- High level of anxiety
5- KIDS

These are some of the predictors which may warn of the slippery path which may lie ahead.  But I really don't want to focus on these.  The key is to be PROACTIVE!

Counteract these predictors with protections of divorce

1- Communicate
2-Learn to solve a problem (early on)
3- Avoid blaming/disregarding your spouse
4- DATE PROPERLY!!

Communication is one of the most important factors of a healthy marriage.  When there is communication equally between husband and wife, it leads to discussions of feelings and protects from harm caused from not speaking with each other.

Learning to solve a problem early on can help in many future situations.  If you have practiced early on in the relationship how to properly solve problems, you can prevent much heart ache in the future.

Avoiding blaming your spouse and disregarding their feelings will prevent you from future pain and will keep you two on the same page.

And finally, date properly.  The way you date is the way your relationship will go.  If you start off a relationship dating frequently and being together, you will form a bond which will hold you two together later on and you will have already had practice with all the above mentioned topics.

So, yes marriage isn't going to be easy.  There will always be ups and downs.  That is to be expected.  But the key is to stay proactive and work as a team with your spouse to be ready when stressful times come.

Good luck with your marriages, and may God bless!

~Mary