It's my money, I do what I want with it. . . right?

There you are, your favorite day of work: payday.  You grab that check freshly off  the print and take it in.  Aw yes, this is the money you have worked hard for.  You can do as you please.  Or can you?

This week, we have been learning about your work and money, and accommodating it into your family.  These two subjects go hand in hand.  Some might say "So what?  It is my money, I can spend and do with it as I please."  Yes, this may be true, but there are always consequences.

back in the 'good old days', it was common for a family to work in order to live.  Working became a necessity to achieve food and supplies for the family.  Now and days, you are beginning to see it much more common that money earned is no longer for living necessities as it is for our benefit of luxuries.  Why shouldn't you be able to buy that motorcycle you have been eyeing for the past month?  You have the means to pay for it now.  After all, you earned the money.  Doesn't that mean you rightfully earned the motorcycle too?  When you think about it logically, a family needs some sort of a budget.

Money that is placed in categories so that you can manage your spending.  Sure, you might have the money to afford luxuries now, but what about that day in the near future where your job lays you off due to not being able to afford to pay you. Or what about that unanticipated emergency trip to the hospital (maybe even from riding this new toy you have bought)?  What are you going to do then when the income and money you had at the time before suddenly becomes thin?

All I can say is budget, budget, BUDGET.  Managing money is no easy task.  Sometimes it is very tempting to buy those little things in life which will bring you joy.  But in all reality, the day will come when you will appreciate the money you have saved up in a back-up fund or emergency fund.

I know it might kill you now at the thought of giving up something that you so desperately want at the time, but when time goes on and a need for money comes up suddenly, you will be thankful that you kept to your budget and saved up for a rainy day.

~Mary

(Okay, take this post for what it is worth.  It is only what I have picked out from this week.  I am in no way at all close to being an expert on money or family.  I am just a college kid trying to get by)

Can you hear me now?

When you were a kid, do you remember those little walkie talkies that all of the the kids got?  Maybe it was you who got one, maybe not.  Either way, for those who did get one soon found out a little lesson on being on the same frequency.  If one is on a different frequency than the other, all you get is muffled white noise and there is no communication between the two people.

Just like these walkie talkies, it is necessary in a relationship to be on the same frequency or wave length.  Communication is a tricky subject.  It is tricky because there are various ways of communicating other than through just words.  Body language, words, and tone all play a part of communication.  In a message, 14% conveyed is through words, 35% is through the tone in which you say something, and 51% is from nonverbal cues you give through body language.

Since there are multiple parts to communicating, there are times where a person may have interpreted something wrong.  To keep from a lot of drama or unnecessary argument, you can just simply ask a person if you understood them correctly.  If you happen to of misunderstood the person, it gives them an opportunity to explain their views and can eliminate anymore issues on a subject.

One last thing I picked up on in class is that in a relationship,it is helpful to have cues with one another.  Some may call it a code.  When one person is needing or feeling a certain way, they can use a code in which they both understand to change a situation.  Say you have been at your in-laws house for one minute too long.  If the two of you are on the same frequency and wavelength and are aware of codes, you can motion to go home.  Try it sometime and see what I mean.

So in the end, communication plays a large role in any relationship.  It is the key to a good or failing relationship.  The way to build on your skills is to practice.  Find a way to get on the same wave length as your partner or person of whom you are communicating with.  Once you do this,you can almost guarantee a smoother relationship.

Sometimes, life is just one big merry-go-round

In a family, or any type of relationship for that matter, you can expect some stress to come up.   This stress can be caused by change from routine.  In some cases, this stress comes from an emergency.  When this happens, there is a sense of centrifugal force.  The crisis forces the individuals to start to pull apart.  After all,  it is the natural tendency.

Do you remember back in the day when you were a little guy on the playground?  There was that one playground equipment you just had to ride.  The merry-go-round.  If you were a dare devil, you would head to the edges and let your body be pulled.  In some cases, you probably met the ground.  What about those times you decided you didn't want all of that force.  What did you do?  Every kid knows you have to pull yourself into the middle.

As with the merry-go-round scenario, the more you pull toward the middle, the safer you are and the less stress is placed upon you.  Whenever you are placed in that situation which is testing your strength, whether it be in your family, with room mates, or with your spouse, the key is to place the problem on the outside and  pull in towards each other to address the problem.  When you are together,you are in the same place and able to cope better with situations placed in front of you.  Sometimes you need to restructure the roles you play in order to meet new needs.  Coping is not only getting through it, rather it is getting better.

So, the next time you start to feel your world SPIN and get a little out of control, remember to go back to the basics and pull together, meeting in the middle.  Hopefully you have better results than this guy.

Marital Bonds: A Lasting Marriage

Last week, we had the opportunity to learn more about the importance of sexual intimacy and family life.  When it comes to a marriage,there are three main part which work together: physical, emotional, and spiritual.  Each of these three aspects of marriage work together.  There is one connection. What is that connection of these three vital parts of marriage?

COOPERATION

When a couple works together, they are able to find out what is best for the other.  Along with cooperation and working together comes the part of marriage we will call the "SAFETY BELT".  This "safety belt" in a marriage is having appropriate boundaries.  One of the quotes brought up in discussing in class is one which I really like:

"The grass is always greener on the side you water."

What does this quote have to do with boundaries?  It is simple.  Your spouse should be the person of which you share your thoughts and concerns with.  It is part of the boundaries which should be set from day one of a marriage.  When you share emotional conversations with someone, you begin to make bonds and connections.  This is why it is so vital you are sharing these conversations with your spouse to keep you within the boundaries you made with him or her.  Hence the previous quote, whichever side of "grass" you water (in this case, the people you chose to share personal information with) is the side which will grow.  To put is bluntly, this can be a good affair prevention tool in a marriage.

Marriage is one of the highest priorities in life.  Work hard to have those bonds with each other to make a LASTING MARRIAGE