I know you have loads of people's blogs to grade and things get confusing. You marked me down to a 66% on blogs for not completing all of my blogs. Let me help you out.
Week 1: New Beginnings, New Mysteries
Week 2: The Gift of Life
Week 3: Rules-a plenty
Week 4: What exactly is this whole "culture" thing?
Week 5: Gender Roles
Week 6: The Know Quo: Dating and what Comes Along With It
Week 7: Marriage: Rules and Roles
Week 8: Marital Bonds: A Lasting Marriage
Week 9: Sometimes Life is One Big Merry-go-round
Week 10: Can You Hear Me Now?
Week 11: It's my money, I do what I want with it... right?
Week 12: Yeah whatever mom. Like you Know!
Week 13:Up and down and up and... all around?
There you have it. Thirteen weeks. All for this class. Sorry if there was any confusion, but just wanted to show you I had finished ALL of my blogs.
~Mary
Friday, April 12, 2013
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Up and down and up and down and... all around?
Life. Yeah, I know. It is intense. Sometimes it is good, other times it is a little rough. Sometimes it is just right in the middle. But so what?
Well, joke's on you. I am not talking about life today. I am talking about marriage... again. But this time, the prevention of divorce. So, say you have yourself this marriage. You kind of like it. But what about the day you realize your bank account is empty and there are bills to pay? Things get a little stressful. You are down. But just last month, you had the best month in a long time? What is this up and down roller coaster?
Every marriage is going to have these ups and downs, the high and the low times. The thought of divorce might pop into your mind, but let me tell you: DON'T DO IT!!! (Well, unless your life is at risk of course). Let's face it, divorce doesn't come on suddenly. There are predictors of divorce which are foreseen sometimes years in advance. What are these predictors you might ask? I shall tell you:
1- You come from a family of divorced parents, you perceive divorce as a solution
2- Emotional instability
3- Lack of effective model
4- High level of anxiety
5- KIDS
These are some of the predictors which may warn of the slippery path which may lie ahead. But I really don't want to focus on these. The key is to be PROACTIVE!
Counteract these predictors with protections of divorce
1- Communicate
2-Learn to solve a problem (early on)
3- Avoid blaming/disregarding your spouse
4- DATE PROPERLY!!
Communication is one of the most important factors of a healthy marriage. When there is communication equally between husband and wife, it leads to discussions of feelings and protects from harm caused from not speaking with each other.
Learning to solve a problem early on can help in many future situations. If you have practiced early on in the relationship how to properly solve problems, you can prevent much heart ache in the future.
Avoiding blaming your spouse and disregarding their feelings will prevent you from future pain and will keep you two on the same page.
And finally, date properly. The way you date is the way your relationship will go. If you start off a relationship dating frequently and being together, you will form a bond which will hold you two together later on and you will have already had practice with all the above mentioned topics.
So, yes marriage isn't going to be easy. There will always be ups and downs. That is to be expected. But the key is to stay proactive and work as a team with your spouse to be ready when stressful times come.
Good luck with your marriages, and may God bless!
~Mary
Well, joke's on you. I am not talking about life today. I am talking about marriage... again. But this time, the prevention of divorce. So, say you have yourself this marriage. You kind of like it. But what about the day you realize your bank account is empty and there are bills to pay? Things get a little stressful. You are down. But just last month, you had the best month in a long time? What is this up and down roller coaster?
Every marriage is going to have these ups and downs, the high and the low times. The thought of divorce might pop into your mind, but let me tell you: DON'T DO IT!!! (Well, unless your life is at risk of course). Let's face it, divorce doesn't come on suddenly. There are predictors of divorce which are foreseen sometimes years in advance. What are these predictors you might ask? I shall tell you:
1- You come from a family of divorced parents, you perceive divorce as a solution
2- Emotional instability
3- Lack of effective model
4- High level of anxiety
5- KIDS
These are some of the predictors which may warn of the slippery path which may lie ahead. But I really don't want to focus on these. The key is to be PROACTIVE!
Counteract these predictors with protections of divorce
1- Communicate
2-Learn to solve a problem (early on)
3- Avoid blaming/disregarding your spouse
4- DATE PROPERLY!!
Communication is one of the most important factors of a healthy marriage. When there is communication equally between husband and wife, it leads to discussions of feelings and protects from harm caused from not speaking with each other.
Learning to solve a problem early on can help in many future situations. If you have practiced early on in the relationship how to properly solve problems, you can prevent much heart ache in the future.
Avoiding blaming your spouse and disregarding their feelings will prevent you from future pain and will keep you two on the same page.
And finally, date properly. The way you date is the way your relationship will go. If you start off a relationship dating frequently and being together, you will form a bond which will hold you two together later on and you will have already had practice with all the above mentioned topics.
So, yes marriage isn't going to be easy. There will always be ups and downs. That is to be expected. But the key is to stay proactive and work as a team with your spouse to be ready when stressful times come.
Good luck with your marriages, and may God bless!
~Mary
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Yeah, whatever mom. Like you know!
If you go anywhere, odds are you will see people in the role of parenting. If not the actual role of parenting at that moment, you will see the results of parenting. Just look at the next person who walks by. You can see for yourself what I mean by seeing the way they walk, talk, or even laugh. But what on earth am I getting at? Believe it or not, parents rub off on their children. There. I have said it.
No matter how much I deny it, I often find myself saying or doing things that my own mother would do. I freeze. Right there, right then. How could this be happening? I am my own person!
Everyone knows how the years of being a teen go. Mom, you don't know. I know mom. Mom, you are embarrassing me. But guess what. If the teenagers weren't whining about something, then the parents are doing their job wrong.
I think back to the years of pulling weeds and picking beans from the garden. Oh, how I LOATHED those beans! "Why are we doing this? What is the point? I don't even like green beans!" Those are some typical words which would come out of my mouth while being forced against my will to pick endless amounts of beans.
Looking back at it now, I can see the reasoning behind it. A good parent places their child in positions and provides opportunities for their child to grow. Whether that be cognitively, physically, growth in common sense, or work ethics. That little Mary in the garden was miserable, but do you know what? Today I am grateful I was forced (against my will might I add) to pick those stupid beans. It taught me the value of work. Something that is being dwindled as time goes on.
One thing I loved about my dad is that he would be out there in the garden with us picking and pulling plants. It takes a good example to motivate and teach children to grow. So, even though I absolutely hated my parents at times (or so I thought), they taught me things that I could not learn in any other way.
So yes, as a teen I knew it all and my parents didn't. But today... I am very appreciative of their patience toward me.
~Mary
No matter how much I deny it, I often find myself saying or doing things that my own mother would do. I freeze. Right there, right then. How could this be happening? I am my own person!
Everyone knows how the years of being a teen go. Mom, you don't know. I know mom. Mom, you are embarrassing me. But guess what. If the teenagers weren't whining about something, then the parents are doing their job wrong.
I think back to the years of pulling weeds and picking beans from the garden. Oh, how I LOATHED those beans! "Why are we doing this? What is the point? I don't even like green beans!" Those are some typical words which would come out of my mouth while being forced against my will to pick endless amounts of beans.
Looking back at it now, I can see the reasoning behind it. A good parent places their child in positions and provides opportunities for their child to grow. Whether that be cognitively, physically, growth in common sense, or work ethics. That little Mary in the garden was miserable, but do you know what? Today I am grateful I was forced (against my will might I add) to pick those stupid beans. It taught me the value of work. Something that is being dwindled as time goes on.
One thing I loved about my dad is that he would be out there in the garden with us picking and pulling plants. It takes a good example to motivate and teach children to grow. So, even though I absolutely hated my parents at times (or so I thought), they taught me things that I could not learn in any other way.
So yes, as a teen I knew it all and my parents didn't. But today... I am very appreciative of their patience toward me.
~Mary
Friday, March 22, 2013
It's my money, I do what I want with it. . . right?
There you are, your favorite day of work: payday. You grab that check freshly off the print and take it in. Aw yes, this is the money you have worked hard for. You can do as you please. Or can you?
This week, we have been learning about your work and money, and accommodating it into your family. These two subjects go hand in hand. Some might say "So what? It is my money, I can spend and do with it as I please." Yes, this may be true, but there are always consequences.
back in the 'good old days', it was common for a family to work in order to live. Working became a necessity to achieve food and supplies for the family. Now and days, you are beginning to see it much more common that money earned is no longer for living necessities as it is for our benefit of luxuries. Why shouldn't you be able to buy that motorcycle you have been eyeing for the past month? You have the means to pay for it now. After all, you earned the money. Doesn't that mean you rightfully earned the motorcycle too? When you think about it logically, a family needs some sort of a budget.
Money that is placed in categories so that you can manage your spending. Sure, you might have the money to afford luxuries now, but what about that day in the near future where your job lays you off due to not being able to afford to pay you. Or what about that unanticipated emergency trip to the hospital (maybe even from riding this new toy you have bought)? What are you going to do then when the income and money you had at the time before suddenly becomes thin?
All I can say is budget, budget, BUDGET. Managing money is no easy task. Sometimes it is very tempting to buy those little things in life which will bring you joy. But in all reality, the day will come when you will appreciate the money you have saved up in a back-up fund or emergency fund.
I know it might kill you now at the thought of giving up something that you so desperately want at the time, but when time goes on and a need for money comes up suddenly, you will be thankful that you kept to your budget and saved up for a rainy day.
~Mary
(Okay, take this post for what it is worth. It is only what I have picked out from this week. I am in no way at all close to being an expert on money or family. I am just a college kid trying to get by)
This week, we have been learning about your work and money, and accommodating it into your family. These two subjects go hand in hand. Some might say "So what? It is my money, I can spend and do with it as I please." Yes, this may be true, but there are always consequences.
back in the 'good old days', it was common for a family to work in order to live. Working became a necessity to achieve food and supplies for the family. Now and days, you are beginning to see it much more common that money earned is no longer for living necessities as it is for our benefit of luxuries. Why shouldn't you be able to buy that motorcycle you have been eyeing for the past month? You have the means to pay for it now. After all, you earned the money. Doesn't that mean you rightfully earned the motorcycle too? When you think about it logically, a family needs some sort of a budget.
Money that is placed in categories so that you can manage your spending. Sure, you might have the money to afford luxuries now, but what about that day in the near future where your job lays you off due to not being able to afford to pay you. Or what about that unanticipated emergency trip to the hospital (maybe even from riding this new toy you have bought)? What are you going to do then when the income and money you had at the time before suddenly becomes thin?
All I can say is budget, budget, BUDGET. Managing money is no easy task. Sometimes it is very tempting to buy those little things in life which will bring you joy. But in all reality, the day will come when you will appreciate the money you have saved up in a back-up fund or emergency fund.
I know it might kill you now at the thought of giving up something that you so desperately want at the time, but when time goes on and a need for money comes up suddenly, you will be thankful that you kept to your budget and saved up for a rainy day.
~Mary
(Okay, take this post for what it is worth. It is only what I have picked out from this week. I am in no way at all close to being an expert on money or family. I am just a college kid trying to get by)
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Can you hear me now?
When you were a kid, do you remember those little walkie talkies that all of the the kids got? Maybe it was you who got one, maybe not. Either way, for those who did get one soon found out a little lesson on being on the same frequency. If one is on a different frequency than the other, all you get is muffled white noise and there is no communication between the two people.
Just like these walkie talkies, it is necessary in a relationship to be on the same frequency or wave length. Communication is a tricky subject. It is tricky because there are various ways of communicating other than through just words. Body language, words, and tone all play a part of communication. In a message, 14% conveyed is through words, 35% is through the tone in which you say something, and 51% is from nonverbal cues you give through body language.
Since there are multiple parts to communicating, there are times where a person may have interpreted something wrong. To keep from a lot of drama or unnecessary argument, you can just simply ask a person if you understood them correctly. If you happen to of misunderstood the person, it gives them an opportunity to explain their views and can eliminate anymore issues on a subject.
One last thing I picked up on in class is that in a relationship,it is helpful to have cues with one another. Some may call it a code. When one person is needing or feeling a certain way, they can use a code in which they both understand to change a situation. Say you have been at your in-laws house for one minute too long. If the two of you are on the same frequency and wavelength and are aware of codes, you can motion to go home. Try it sometime and see what I mean.
So in the end, communication plays a large role in any relationship. It is the key to a good or failing relationship. The way to build on your skills is to practice. Find a way to get on the same wave length as your partner or person of whom you are communicating with. Once you do this,you can almost guarantee a smoother relationship.
Just like these walkie talkies, it is necessary in a relationship to be on the same frequency or wave length. Communication is a tricky subject. It is tricky because there are various ways of communicating other than through just words. Body language, words, and tone all play a part of communication. In a message, 14% conveyed is through words, 35% is through the tone in which you say something, and 51% is from nonverbal cues you give through body language.
Since there are multiple parts to communicating, there are times where a person may have interpreted something wrong. To keep from a lot of drama or unnecessary argument, you can just simply ask a person if you understood them correctly. If you happen to of misunderstood the person, it gives them an opportunity to explain their views and can eliminate anymore issues on a subject.
One last thing I picked up on in class is that in a relationship,it is helpful to have cues with one another. Some may call it a code. When one person is needing or feeling a certain way, they can use a code in which they both understand to change a situation. Say you have been at your in-laws house for one minute too long. If the two of you are on the same frequency and wavelength and are aware of codes, you can motion to go home. Try it sometime and see what I mean.
So in the end, communication plays a large role in any relationship. It is the key to a good or failing relationship. The way to build on your skills is to practice. Find a way to get on the same wave length as your partner or person of whom you are communicating with. Once you do this,you can almost guarantee a smoother relationship.
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Sometimes, life is just one big merry-go-round
In a family, or any type of relationship for that matter, you can expect some stress to come up. This stress can be caused by change from routine. In some cases, this stress comes from an emergency. When this happens, there is a sense of centrifugal force. The crisis forces the individuals to start to pull apart. After all, it is the natural tendency.
Do you remember back in the day when you were a little guy on the playground? There was that one playground equipment you just had to ride. The merry-go-round. If you were a dare devil, you would head to the edges and let your body be pulled. In some cases, you probably met the ground. What about those times you decided you didn't want all of that force. What did you do? Every kid knows you have to pull yourself into the middle.
As with the merry-go-round scenario, the more you pull toward the middle, the safer you are and the less stress is placed upon you. Whenever you are placed in that situation which is testing your strength, whether it be in your family, with room mates, or with your spouse, the key is to place the problem on the outside and pull in towards each other to address the problem. When you are together,you are in the same place and able to cope better with situations placed in front of you. Sometimes you need to restructure the roles you play in order to meet new needs. Coping is not only getting through it, rather it is getting better.
So, the next time you start to feel your world SPIN and get a little out of control, remember to go back to the basics and pull together, meeting in the middle. Hopefully you have better results than this guy.
Do you remember back in the day when you were a little guy on the playground? There was that one playground equipment you just had to ride. The merry-go-round. If you were a dare devil, you would head to the edges and let your body be pulled. In some cases, you probably met the ground. What about those times you decided you didn't want all of that force. What did you do? Every kid knows you have to pull yourself into the middle.
As with the merry-go-round scenario, the more you pull toward the middle, the safer you are and the less stress is placed upon you. Whenever you are placed in that situation which is testing your strength, whether it be in your family, with room mates, or with your spouse, the key is to place the problem on the outside and pull in towards each other to address the problem. When you are together,you are in the same place and able to cope better with situations placed in front of you. Sometimes you need to restructure the roles you play in order to meet new needs. Coping is not only getting through it, rather it is getting better.
So, the next time you start to feel your world SPIN and get a little out of control, remember to go back to the basics and pull together, meeting in the middle. Hopefully you have better results than this guy.
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Marital Bonds: A Lasting Marriage
Last week, we had the opportunity to learn more about the importance of sexual intimacy and family life. When it comes to a marriage,there are three main part which work together: physical, emotional, and spiritual. Each of these three aspects of marriage work together. There is one connection. What is that connection of these three vital parts of marriage?
COOPERATION
When a couple works together, they are able to find out what is best for the other. Along with cooperation and working together comes the part of marriage we will call the "SAFETY BELT". This "safety belt" in a marriage is having appropriate boundaries. One of the quotes brought up in discussing in class is one which I really like:
"The grass is always greener on the side you water."
What does this quote have to do with boundaries? It is simple. Your spouse should be the person of which you share your thoughts and concerns with. It is part of the boundaries which should be set from day one of a marriage. When you share emotional conversations with someone, you begin to make bonds and connections. This is why it is so vital you are sharing these conversations with your spouse to keep you within the boundaries you made with him or her. Hence the previous quote, whichever side of "grass" you water (in this case, the people you chose to share personal information with) is the side which will grow. To put is bluntly, this can be a good affair prevention tool in a marriage.
Marriage is one of the highest priorities in life. Work hard to have those bonds with each other to make a LASTING MARRIAGE
COOPERATION
When a couple works together, they are able to find out what is best for the other. Along with cooperation and working together comes the part of marriage we will call the "SAFETY BELT". This "safety belt" in a marriage is having appropriate boundaries. One of the quotes brought up in discussing in class is one which I really like:
"The grass is always greener on the side you water."
What does this quote have to do with boundaries? It is simple. Your spouse should be the person of which you share your thoughts and concerns with. It is part of the boundaries which should be set from day one of a marriage. When you share emotional conversations with someone, you begin to make bonds and connections. This is why it is so vital you are sharing these conversations with your spouse to keep you within the boundaries you made with him or her. Hence the previous quote, whichever side of "grass" you water (in this case, the people you chose to share personal information with) is the side which will grow. To put is bluntly, this can be a good affair prevention tool in a marriage.
Marriage is one of the highest priorities in life. Work hard to have those bonds with each other to make a LASTING MARRIAGE
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